Sunday, April 3, 2011

Freeing Your Inner Swan Part 3

"Only the still pool reflect the stars." Zen saying

From a zenlightened perspective, which is seeing with a clear mind, peaceful heart; I resonate with Jon Braeley, Director of "The Zen Mind" who mentions that the intent of zen training "is to rid the mind of ego and self doubt, to reach satori or self realization."

In this blog, Freeing the Inner Swan (part 3 ) I wanted to briefly address striking a yin/ yang balance between a healthy ego which involves (self esteem and confidence) and an aspect of ego (inner toxic critic). The distinction that has brought me clarity is the subtle difference between self esteem and confidence. Self-esteem is related to caring or loving who you are being no matter what you are doing. Self confidence is knowing you are good at what you are doing and believing in yourself. By witnessing this contrast I've worked with many successful, wealthy people who are excellent at what they do, yet seem to not truly love who they are or feel good about themselves. The word independent is key here to observe as inward dependence on our Beingness, Spirit, or God. Once we connect to our spirit or being through centering exercises like meditation the doing has a chance to fall naturally into place. A healthy ego is when our self esteem or being and confidence doing are working together in harmony.

When I was doing research, I asked the question "What is a healthy ego? " The name Carolom showed up with her illuminating suggestions and a reference to Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth
message board from Oprah's website. I have reprinted it for you here.

"Wholeness is a return to identification with the origin of creation; a return to contemplation of the field of consciousness itself; a return to what is referred to as God,Beingness, or Spirit." Eckhart Tolle

You know you have a healthy Ego Carolom

*You have transcended the state of duality and opposites and are living a fully integrated life

*You are clear on why you are here, what you are to do and have embraced the unique gifts and talents you have to fulfill your Earth walk, enjoying your unique gifts and talents as a part of that

*You recognize that 'love, light and nice' is not always the answer...sometimes the difficult conversations and powerful Energetic cross currents require firm and assertive action

*You are comfortable in your role within the One whilst also embracing the individualized aspects of it...(the "Me" within the "We' )

*You take time to grow, develop and nurture your inner Self whilst contributing to the external world and its manifestations - including developing a healthy relationship with Egos call of the Self

*You love and honour all aspects of your Being by recognizing the Ego's immature state of selfishness and narcissism prior to the mature Ego state of a strong sense of identity and purpose..'make peace not war' within.

*You are comfortable immersing in the Ocean of Abundance and enjoying the fruits of lifes ventures whilst sharing with others the lessons and blessons

*You take responsibility for your snarky moments and blurky bits, embracing them with open arms and lightness of being

*You recognize the role that Ego plays in the development of the individual...individual ... as opposed to the Ego being the re-scripted version of the Devil and God battle and dualism and opposites story of old.

* You have evolved beyond the 'children of a loving Father" story and accepted your role as co-creator with Creation and the responsibilities that come with that

*You have identified your boundaries and are comfortable challenging their transgression and meeting discord with firmness and resolve (especially when working amongst violence and crime)

*You are comfortable with the intellectual combativeness of others...and your own....and choose whether to engage or not engage in all of the scenarios that life presents

*You no longer talk one way and act another...the inner and outer realms are in alignment and harmony

Inspirational Recipe: In One Bite,~ Yin Yang Cake Pops (repeat one breath at a time as often as you wish)

Here we go. In One Breath, let's glow with the flow: Exhale, Whooosh (pressing your zen button) to relax and reset diaphragm~with comfortable upright posture. (Mental Fitness gives you the right know how to be upright in total command of your body soul instrument)

Inhale: Deep blue ocean breath, Catching the wave. Let it rise gradually from your core cradle (hara) to your heart center ❤.

(Pixie Pause for Peace)

Exhale: Long Breath Out~ Soften your chest and start to feel the core tightening up (roots of self support) as you lighten up (wings) with the deep cleansing action of exhaling impurities, stress, and unwanted tension.

After you Exhale completely, rest in the thought free space between the notes.

Ahhhhh ♪ Musical ♫ Pause ♬ Let it Be

Zenjoy finding balance (do be do be do) in the dance of life. With your bite-size sweet/salt taste, you can take One Healing ♡Heart Step ♥ at a time to transform and reach wholeness.❧

What is a Healthy Ego? is a conversational starter. Part 4 will address your questions and perhaps i'll share a couple of soul stories about my re-integration process. Recently I spoke with an amazing lady, her name is Wendy, she helped me articulate making peace with my broken heart pieces. I hope to embrace this hot topic with you to satisfy curiosity, and clear confusion, including any doubts about how we can all spark our own innate beauty, truth, love and goodness. My intention is to share ideas about deepening our connection in building a healthy ego which honors our Beingness, Spirit or God...please tweet, dm or email ??? comments, suggestions, so looking forward...

Mental Fitness (Foreword by Leonard Cohen) is available: Amazon, Bodhi Tree Books , or contact me for Complimentary autographed copy and free gift (up to 22 minutes) telecoaching session by mentioning you read this blog "Free your Inner Swan"

In Gratitude w/Love ❤

FunZen Girls OX
Michiko (lil mama) and Grace:

Twitter: @Zenmommie Email:

I teach Kids FunZen and train Parents to be Mindful.


  1. Yep - you did it again: hit the nail on the head - one swift blow and there it is. Surely, the distinction between self-esteem and self-confidence in connection with being and doing comes from deep insight and is reduced to simple and elegant beauty; easy to grasp and profound at the same time. Go lil mama, keep on keeping on - your wisdom is precious and needed. From Berlin with gratitude <3, :)

  2. What an incredible blog. WOW. One has to be truley honest with themselves to see IF they have a healthy ego. The comment that struck me the most was that light, love, energy was not all that you needed to have a healthy ego. That there ARE boundries one must use to take their make their stand. I believe one can do that with deep love in their hearts. This blog is one to digest slowly like the breath you take in to clear out all negativity. Great work my friend! I will be re-reading this for sure. You are so loved! Raven Hawk

  3. Finally I see the difference between do and be in a flip on the light switch kinda way. Just yesterday I learned that art means discipline and following your blog helps me keep connecting the "fall apart or make art" dots. Thank you FunZen girls.

  4. Hi, Michiko! ♥ It's always good to see you bringing your calm, clear Breath of fresh air and Love to us all! Thank you for the Blessings! ♥ ~ Love, Julie