Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Ending the Struggle of Hiding My Light by Grace

My Mom and I at a Regina Spektor Concert at the Greek Theatre

“There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do." - Marianne Williamson

Recently, I had a reflective moment and out of a meditation, I realized that I was shrinking so other people wouldn't feel insecure around me. With my mom's help, I interrupted that pattern, to find the light switch and stop hiding my light. Well, I'm still working on it. I'm sharing this blog to start the conversation so you guys can start sharing your light as well, and I'd love to hear from like-minded people. The cool thing is when I used my mindful tools of being non-judgmental and kind to my mind, I booked two dream jobs in one week. The centering charm that helped me was to breathe, be still, listen, and trust myself. In the words of Iyanla Vanzant, "I did the work." 

Holding myself back for other people sounds stupid. Why would I do that? You think you're being selfless, because you don't want to shine so other people are jealous or confused or judgmental.  It's not fair to yourself, but we do it because we think it's helping others or it's "nice." I did it when I was around other people who I'm more advanced than in certain areas. It's not even intentional sometimes; being around other people who are trying to reach your level can just rub off on you and you can start acting more like them. It's easy to feel insecure or self-conscious when you're standing out, but standing out because you're being yourself is being in a good kind of spotlight. Hiding your own light to fit in with others is not a substitute.

If I were to stage an intervention with someone holding themselves back just to be at the same level as their peers I would tell them to take a step back and evaluate why they're holding themselves back, and if its worth it. I'll save them some time and tell them…it's not.  I would tell someone else doing that, that if the other people wouldn't love and support you shining and being your best that they're not worth being around. You have to let your own light shine, because if you're not letting your own light shine, you're hurting yourself. You're not reaching your full potential. If you're not being your best, you're not being yourself. If you're not being yourself for the sake of someone else's approval, you deserve better company.

The way to help yourself shine is to follow your bliss. To me, following my bliss is all about  connecting to the spirit of pure joy inside of me (and everyone.) It's about being totally in the moment and being fully engaged with whatever is going on. Whether you're reading, dancing, singing, or just talking to a friend, you're being the hero of your story. It's even as simple as taking a deep breath. Besides, without breath there is no singing, no energy to move, and no life.

It's also good to have peers around you that uplift you. Not having peers that I can talk to or relate to about FunZen is difficult at times because you can't pass ideas back and forth about it and grow mentally and spiritually. I don't just interrupt my friends while we're hanging out to do a one breath meditation with me, but it'd be nice having friends with whom I could practice my FunZen with.  When you feel like you can't talk to people about things, you can feel isolated. I don't let that get to me though, it's just the way things are. It's hard not sharing FunZen with people, because it's such  wonderful thing that should be shared with everyone, but some people just aren't ready or open to hear about it. It's something you can't really force, similar to the expression "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." Sometimes, you just lead by example of mindfulness and being centered. Hey, by the way, here's my first blog, where I share how FunZen click to read helps me on a daily basis, so far, I haven't talked about it with friends. Overall though,  I love my friends, and I also love making more, but  I don't hold myself back for them any longer.

Would love to hear from you. Any comments welcome. 
Ti Amo,

Grace OX


  1. Really like your blog Grace. You rocked it and many people can learn from your words. It is good to look at WHY you hold back. I was just in AWE by your words.

  2. So inspiring, it's time for Funzen to be discussed amongst like-minded people absolutely! Thanks, Grace!

  3. Grace I love your blog! I know a lot of people who feel this way and are afraid to shine. Thank you for inspiring courage in all of us to SHINE. Jill xxoo

  4. LIl Mama (Michiko) I'm so happy that you're allowing your LIGHT to shine brilliantly; there are so many who can use the warmth of your wisdom! Rodney